the lucky ones
as luck or hard work and perseverance would have it, i’m currently not experiencing any financial plight. my credit cards have reached that highly anticipated zero balance, i don’t have extraneous expenses like vehicular upkeep, i’m finally able to contribute to a long-awaited retirement plan without sacrificing dining out and occasional shopping binges, and the concept of living paycheck-to-paycheck seems diluted.
of course, in the wake of the disaster along the gulf coast, i am now burdened with stress of another kind: guilt.
i’m not living the high life by any means, but i’m also not shacking up with 10,000 others in a stadium wearing my final possessions, wondering if loved ones are safe or if my dog is hanging out on the roof of a car somewhere, longing for a human companion and a bowlful of clean water.
having given to the red cross already, with the intent to follow-up with subsequent checks through my employer’s matching program, and a donation to the humane society pending after payday, i still don’t feel any of it is enough.
housed in an apartment, i’m certainly in no position to take in any “rebuilders”. and i’m not trained in counseling or EMT work or any sort of emergency response to go down there and help with the evacuations, and of course, that little thing called a job impedes any desire to go down there anyway.
and honestly, my flood relief experience back in college literally made my stomach churn and my head reel with sadness and anxiety for the people affected, so i’m not sure i’d be up to the task of going to hard-hit new orleans or wherever as the call for all hands on deck is made.
so i guess i’ll have to live with my pangs of guilt, continue to dig deep in my pockets, be thankful for what i have and live life a little fuller because i just never know when the familiar and comfortable will be swept away at a moment’s notice.