subconscious, what are you saying?
twice this week i had dreams involving arguments, and thus fallings out, with my little sister. and for the life of me, i cannot figure out why. my sister and i only lived together for 6 years, and all of those were at the beginning of her life. despite the separation since then (we are almost 12 years apart, after all), our similarities are uncanny. almost to a frightening level says the ‘rental units. and we do get along remarkably well when we are together; our significant others and family will attest. well, except that one time when she was only 14 or so and she tried helping herself to a mike’s hard lemonade (look at us, living in style!) at my aunt’s hosting of christmas eve. i just wasn’t having any of that. maybe i was more grossed out at the prospect of her consuming a mike’s lemonade rather than her age. but i digress.
anyway, in my first dream, she had some torrid love affair going on with gilmore girls’ logan huntzberger (matt czuchry), but that pertains nothing to my the meat of the dream. she told me that for my upcoming wedding, she wasn’t sure she was going to go, and if she did, she wouldn’t stay long. you can imagine as a stressed out bride-to-be (though admittedly, i think i’m keeping my stress levels at bay) how it would feel to have your only sibling announce an utter disinterest in sharing your happiness. well thanks for nuthin’.
and the other dream involved my blatant disregard for her 18th birthday. (for the record, she’s already 18, so i didn’t miss anything.) i called her five days after the fact, only to receive her voicemail. and apparently i didn’t exercise much remorse. i recall telling her that i’d see her at her graduation anyway (which hasn’t happened yet, btw), and that i’d just get her gifts to her then. i’m an awesome older sis.
so, what does this all mean? my take on it is that since our relationship is pretty clean, and we both consider ourselves only children, the only way we get to share in some loving, sibling antagonism is through my dreams. i’m wondering if she’s experiencing similar subconscious altercations.