purge and sort, purge and sort
still feeling the aftermath of a hard drive gone bad from about two years ago. looking for files, photographs, memories that i knew i had in digital form, but sadly no longer possess back-up for. i guess “analog” is a form of back-up, but the idea of re-scanning and re-color correcting and re-cataloging doesn’t thrill me much.
it all started because i was on a hunt to find some photos from london. i looked on my computer to find my “london” folder, but alas, it didn’t exist. a “europe” folder remained, but i didn’t want “europe.” i specifically wanted “london.” i started going through CDs and DVDs in our wreck of a closet and then suddenly realized that 1) i never backed these photos up and hence 2) were probably a repercussion of that dreaded hard drive bombing.
and because my mind is slightly schizophrenic when i’m hunting for anything, it dawned on me that i never ran across my photo CDs from curacao and amsterdam. so i tore through the closet for one more round, cursing at the elaborate labyrinth of USPS boxes and bubble wrap and shipping tubes and messenger bags. “when we get back from seattle, we’re cleaning this closet up once and for all! what a waste of space!”
“i love when you get in these moods.” there’s most definitely a hint of sarcasm in that remark.
i grunt a retort, sigh loudly and outwardly grumble more disbelief about not knowing the whereabouts of all these CDs. would i really throw away disks with photos on them? and to the boy’s credit, why was it important at this moment when i should actually be packing for a weekend getaway? i already had the photos on my external drive, two external drives in fact. it’s highly unlikely that both drives will blow simultaneously — although, you better believe that backing up my entire system yet again is on my to-do list along with cleaning that damn closet.
once i canceled the search party, i tried to come to terms with what was more disturbing:
1) that i really lost more than i originally thought from that hard drive implosion;
2) that my anal-retentive-obsessive-compulsive demeanor doesn’t extend to all aspects of my life;
or the worst of all, 3) i’m actually forgetting when i dispose of things.
i know i’ve been in purge mode lately and even before naz and i moved into together a year and a half ago, so the odds clearly suggest that i got all tazmanian devil on many of my belongings. but i’m struggling with my long-term memory, trying to pinpoint the exact when and why of trashing some stuff, yet sparing the rest.
maybe i’m getting old. maybe i move too much. maybe the next issue of “real simple” can suggest some memory tactics to go along with those cute magazine folios you can get from the container store. because it’s one thing to organize the tangible, it’s a whole other ball of wax to categorize the intangible.