it's been a month

a month ago today, dad passed away. the jury’s still out on whether or not it actually feels like thirty days have gone by or if it still seems like yesterday that i was standing by his bedside. whatever the case, the time period has been dense; i, and those close to me, have lived a lot of life in a short amount of time.

what a month can hold (in contrast to several years):

a great aunt died while i was still in the midwest, so of course we attended her visitation. four days after my father was laid out, at the same funeral home.

mom’s car was temporarily impaired with a broken fuel pump during our run of errands. we were thankful that we were merely stranded at city hall in town rather than out at the airport in st. louis.

shortly after i returned to SF, my godmother’s brother died. again, another family member using the services of renner funeral home in belleville.

mom had the unfortunate experience of dealing with a less-than-competent life insurance representative. sure, punctuality is nice, but two hours ahead of an appointment is excessive. and then to not know any answers? unacceptable.

sissy moved back to bloomington for her upcoming semester in college. and then fell up down the stairs. a bruise supposedly in the shape of australia adorned her leg.

not yet able to enjoy an evening in her new home, sissy encountered the maddening side effects of being an adult. in this case, a dead car battery, two tow trucks, and a closed walmart.

mom returned to work and continued to tackle a mountain of post-death obligations.

naz and i paid our quarterly taxes, albeit late, and filed other necessary paperwork, ahead of schedule. yay?

naz busted up a wheel, a shifter, and flatted a tire. no, he wasn’t injured during any of this.

i lost a few more pounds. then gained half of them back. it seems i didn’t consume much while i was back in southern illinois, but i eat like a mad woman here in SF. imagine that.

a few movies have been seen; several dinners have been had; numerous phone calls and texts have been exchanged.

naz and i daydreamed about key west and almost spontaneously bought tickets and booked a hotel. then we didn’t.

we did, however, go to the sonoma/napa region and fell in love with the cuteness that is yountville (a la key west).

mom burned up the lawnmower. expletives flew; the tears welled.

grandma’s (mom’s mom) possessions, as few as she has these days, had been removed from her apartment in preparation for her admission into a nursing home.

instead, grandma is now in the hospital and on a morphine drip, possibly on her final days as well.

and i haven’t even included some of the mayhem happening on my dad’s side of the family.

2010 has been one helluva ride thus far—though i refuse to classify all this as bad luck. this is merely how life rolls. i walk a fine line of pessimism and optimism, but i’m keeping my fingers crossed that the remainder of the year proves a little more upbeat.

lottery winnings, anyone?

20 July 2010